Following my breakup which was really a year in the making, probably from the point that I had first met him, my girlfriends and family had all rallied around me. And I needed that. When I had been in that "relationship," I pretty much got alienated from my life and usually your boyfriend fills in those spots for the friends that don't want to stick around, don't like who you're with or who are just off doing their thing while you do yours, but mine never did. He stayed distant and separate all the time.
And my friends picked up on that and I tried to hide it because I didn't want my friends to not like him, but it's sort of a hard thing to hide when people ask you to do things at times that they expect you to you know, be with your boyfriend and you're only all too happy to accept. Or, you call them when you had plans with your boyfriend to then make plans with them because you got cancelled on again and well, sitting home stewing is just not time you want to waste.
I had become one of those women that waits - waits for it to get better, wait for them to get better, wait for them to realize...
During the first few months oh did I vent. I let it all out because I had been holding everything in for so long. I dwelled heavily on how he always treated me like an option not a priority and then when I got to the breakup part of my never ending band boy novel, I just unloaded about how nasty he became when I didn't want to do his "let's take a break, but still be BFF and it's all good."
No, thanks.
Then my friends I guess in a way to make me feel better over the saga that I had lived in, in the land of the gray band boy area for a year, would then tell me about someone they knew. Another friend or a friend of a friend or whatever.
"He sounds very immature, and seriously needs to grow up, but maybe that just means you're not meant to be together now, but one day when he's ready, you will be!"
Face. Palm. "Oh...you mean when he realizes?"
"No really, I have this friend and she dated this guy and he jerked her around for weeks, months, years, etc., but then one day he realized!"
"Oh so he made a commitment to her? They're planning to get married?"
"Well...no, but they're moving in together! And she's leaving her life, job, friends, etc. and she's just so happy."
Really? How is that any different? You're going to sell yourself out after however long he jerked you around to then have the pleasure of having his name on a lease with you? A lease. You are giving up everything...for a lease.
Since when did the lease become some big commitment? A lease is nothing. It's a piece of paper carrying bigger consequences for when he once again gets scared/decides it's not what he really wants/decides to play the jerk around game again. I don't get it. If you want a wife, make a commitment. This whole thing of my generation where it's you date for a period of time and then move in together before getting married is just stupid to me. You know if you want a life with someone and you figure that out pretty quickly, why do you need to play house as some "big step" towards an actual commitment? If you want to live with it, ya gotta put a ring on it.
And for what? Just to have your time waste when you could be out there single, enjoying your life your way and setting yourself up to meet the person that is not going to jerk you around or treat you any less than you deserve!
So ladies, you ready? STOP WAITING! Ditch that loser who does not realize the fabulousness that is you. And move on because the guy that will marry you, who will make a real, honest commitment to you is not the guy that strung you along for months, a year, years, etc. but will from the moment that meets you treat you with the respect and dignity that your feelings deserve.
And my friends picked up on that and I tried to hide it because I didn't want my friends to not like him, but it's sort of a hard thing to hide when people ask you to do things at times that they expect you to you know, be with your boyfriend and you're only all too happy to accept. Or, you call them when you had plans with your boyfriend to then make plans with them because you got cancelled on again and well, sitting home stewing is just not time you want to waste.
I had become one of those women that waits - waits for it to get better, wait for them to get better, wait for them to realize...
During the first few months oh did I vent. I let it all out because I had been holding everything in for so long. I dwelled heavily on how he always treated me like an option not a priority and then when I got to the breakup part of my never ending band boy novel, I just unloaded about how nasty he became when I didn't want to do his "let's take a break, but still be BFF and it's all good."
No, thanks.
Then my friends I guess in a way to make me feel better over the saga that I had lived in, in the land of the gray band boy area for a year, would then tell me about someone they knew. Another friend or a friend of a friend or whatever.
"He sounds very immature, and seriously needs to grow up, but maybe that just means you're not meant to be together now, but one day when he's ready, you will be!"
Face. Palm. "Oh...you mean when he realizes?"
"No really, I have this friend and she dated this guy and he jerked her around for weeks, months, years, etc., but then one day he realized!"
"Oh so he made a commitment to her? They're planning to get married?"
"Well...no, but they're moving in together! And she's leaving her life, job, friends, etc. and she's just so happy."
Really? How is that any different? You're going to sell yourself out after however long he jerked you around to then have the pleasure of having his name on a lease with you? A lease. You are giving up everything...for a lease.
Since when did the lease become some big commitment? A lease is nothing. It's a piece of paper carrying bigger consequences for when he once again gets scared/decides it's not what he really wants/decides to play the jerk around game again. I don't get it. If you want a wife, make a commitment. This whole thing of my generation where it's you date for a period of time and then move in together before getting married is just stupid to me. You know if you want a life with someone and you figure that out pretty quickly, why do you need to play house as some "big step" towards an actual commitment? If you want to live with it, ya gotta put a ring on it.
And for what? Just to have your time waste when you could be out there single, enjoying your life your way and setting yourself up to meet the person that is not going to jerk you around or treat you any less than you deserve!
So ladies, you ready? STOP WAITING! Ditch that loser who does not realize the fabulousness that is you. And move on because the guy that will marry you, who will make a real, honest commitment to you is not the guy that strung you along for months, a year, years, etc. but will from the moment that meets you treat you with the respect and dignity that your feelings deserve.
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