There are many things this summer...

School is finally  over in 5 days. It should have been over weeks ago, but at least, we're down to days.

This was my worst year as a teacher. It was hard, there were tears and many times I rally fantasized about quitting and finding a job that had nothing to do with kids.

One of my students was murdered. I was assaulted by a kid that wasn't even mine.

Done. I am just done with this year.

And now it's summer where I am going to remodel my kitchen and it will be beautiful. The last of the appliances already came and I put up this back splash:

Once the new sink, faucet,counter and cabinets are all up, the entire place is going to look very different. The cabinets now are almost as old as I am and have been painted, red, white and then blue. At one time my kitchen was purple with red cabinets-- I still don't know what those people were thinking.

It will be modern with a touch of vintage, just like the rest of my house. We're also putting up a faux tin ceiling in the kitchen with a fleur de lis design. I'll be very sad when we out grow this house and have to move.

I'm teaching one college class this year and then I get to go to Chicago for my doctoral residency and talk about urban literacy and the visual arts for 5 days. I come home and...turn....30. This birthday has been haunting me all year. there are times where I still feel 16...I'm just not sure how 30 years have happened for me. So crazy!

The real nice part of this summer though? I'll have time even though I'm doing all of this. My class is only 5 weeks and though I am taking two PhD classes, those too will go quickly. In the mean time, I'll be kicking off my summer on June 23rd at about 11am when Phil said he will wake me up with a big glass of pina colada sangria.

Afterwards, you'll find me at the beach with this beauty:

Where the only worry I will have for about a week and a half will be house breaking our puppy.

You know you're old when...

You begin to look forward to summer for the simple reason that it means you can breathe.

I can't say that 2016 has been a bad year, but it's been a hard year. Every several years as a teacher, you get a year where you think it can't get anymore bat-shit crazy than it already is, but it does. Those are the worst years. This year is one of those.

I had already told Phil before Christmas that this summer I was not working full-time. I was not going to run a summer camp. I was not going to wait tables. I was just not.

And the good news is that I'm not. I'm teaching one college class and working on my dissertation for my next residency.

This is, end-of-year-teacher-tired.

It's still going to be a lot, but it won't be the insanity that was this year. I am hopeful that next year will be easier and won't have the personal stuff with it all too.

My grandmother is pretty sick and my cat, Jack Nicholson, was just diagnosed with diabetes and a heart murmur. His heart is actually the size of my fist. I've only had him for a year and he had spent much of his life being a NYC tom cat. Scary when I think that when I got him, he had a clean bill of health other than a cold that antibiotics quickly took away. Now, for the rest of his little cat life I will have to give him insulin shots. We have the consult with the vet specialist on Friday and I am not looking forward to this at all. I can get shots, but giving them skeeves me out. Probably one of the big reasons that after Rutgers, I went on for teaching instead of nursing.

 

The guys. Jack & Milo

I think the most unnerving of everything with Jack Nicholson is that when I look at photos of him from before, he's a big, meaty lynx point and now he's a patchy haired skeleton that sits on my feet purring and lays on the floor licking his butt and farting into his own face. There was a time where he was a lot more...err..regal than that.

If you'd like to donate to help with Jack Nicholson's ever-growing vet bill-- I set up a go fund me...here.

To end on a happy note...guys, look at my beautiful bathroom:

 

My Life is Changing...As I Write It

When I think about how much my life has changed since I started this blog it really blows my mind.

But when I realize how so much of my life came together over the past two years, I am even more blown away. And for the first time in a long time, I can see why I had to go through and do certain things because each step lead me to another and then another, before I was in the place that I was always supposed to be in.

Now, here I am, nearly 30 years old, teaching, writing, finishing a PhD, putting together my first house and talking, seriously, about getting engaged to my boyfriend of the past two years.

And even more on the surprising side of my life, I have been researching what it takes to become a foster parent in the state of NJ. I teach in an urban, high poverty middle school. By the time I get these kids, it's already too late for some of them. And that's too many kids. Your teenage years should be about drama, and friends and dreaming about how fabulous your life is going to be once you graduate high school. It shouldn't be about worrying about going home because someone is going to be drunk and abusive, or fearful because that walk home isn't the safest, or worrying about once you get home how hungry you're going to be because you only get to eat when you're in school and getting free breakfast and lunch.

And kids should angst, they should angst over it all. But they shouldn't be so angry that they want to shut out the world. Shut out themselves and just stop where they are at the age of 13.

So, while I know my home would not be a good fit for an older child who has seen all of this and is going through it, I do know that we could be a home for a younger child who needs to be shown what love and stability is.

I see Phil with our dog, I mean it's ridiculous. She sleeps in our room because the cats like to have free roam at night. I tell her to go to her bed and she does. She will never try to sneak in next to me unless I call her. However, Phil spends many sleepless nights with her, sneaking onto his side of the bed, having to be next to him. Then last night, I was half asleep in bed and the dog was on her's. I hear Phil get up and go over to her. He gets her off her bed, and starts fluffing it for her and talking to her like a baby as he rearranges it all for her and then lets her go back on it. He tells her, that she has to be comfortable.

That's when I fall in love with him even more and once again I'm reminded of the kind of dad that he's going to be.

It set me up for a really nice day today, even if my students are insane because Christmas break is only 12 days away....

I'm Tired Today, but Thankful

It's Friday. And the kids are crazy. The exhaustion is finally starting to set in. I spend much of September running myself ragged trying to get my classroom together and my kids in line. It's usually around this point every year that routines get established and then I realized just how tired I am.

I don't think going on for my PhD this year is helping at all, either. I've begun my dissertation and have settled on sticking to my desire to research the need for creativity in urban education as opposed to the RTI, climate and culture and all that other hot words that my adviser is trying to push all of us towards. I would be so bored writing about any of that because I feel as a teacher in an urban school, that's all I ever do.

August 2014: Somewhere in Europe, clearly tired yet goofy.

I'm attending my first residency at the end of the month which is really exciting. This also mean Phil will have to take care of our dog and cats for four days. This is also  the first time in the two years that we've been together that I'll be away for that long. Phil told me he'll be sure to throw a house party. I imagine a more realistic night of him playing video games until the sun comes out.

It's funny when I realize how much my life has changed over the past three years. I no longer stress out about crappy dates with crappy guys. I own my own house and no longer have to feel trapped in the attic. And, I'm pursuing my dreams while getting to travel while getting to share this with a man that I was always supposed to be with.

I'm just feeling pretty tired, but overall, pretty thankful today too.

Here's Why I Don't Care About Caitlyn Jenner

When Caitlyn Jenner announced herself to the world, I thought it was great. Here was a fellow human being on this planet that was vastly unhappy and uncomfortable with himself and so he found courage within him to go through a lengthy and painful process to become the image that he wanted: Caitlyn. I thought it was also great that we have reached the point where a transgender woman was on the cover of Vanity Fair...though i do think Laverne Cox did it way better on the cover of TIME last year.

However, as the weeks went on and all we saw was Caitlyn and her overtly over done in the only way that someone tied to the Kardashians could do, it became a bit ill to watch. I often wonder how much of a pawn she has become in the Kardashian fame game and I wonder how okay Caitlyn herself is with all the fanfare.

TIME cover (google images)

It also got me to think about how ugly people became over her transformation and towards one another. I think there's two sides to our society, the overly conservative and the overly liberal. Neither side is respectful towards the other and each always wants to change the other's viewpoint....but the thing is? That's never going to happen.

A conservative, religious person is never going to accept Caitlyn Jenner, same-sex marriage, legalized pot, etc. And the thing that everyone forgets is, that's okay. That is how that person feels and what they believe, so what right does anyone have to tell them they are wrong, stupid, misinformed, etc.? That's how they feel, but feelings aren't fact. And as long as that person isn't being a biggot and a jerk towards a lifestyle that they don't condone, then who cares? Let them live their life as you live your's....your life with your own thoughts and feelings. And for those who are overtly religious, I think you need to remember that all God ever asked us to do, was to love one another and let him do the judging-- it's not our place or our burdon....let it go.

It's also totally okay that a nonreligious liberal will fight for and compliment Caitlyn Jenner, same-sex marriage, legalized pot, etc. And as long as they also honor other people's thoughts and feelings that might not align with their own, might even straight up conflict with what they believe, then their viewpoint is okay too. What's difficult about being overly liberal is that when you are,you become so quick to stamp on and demean someone who is religious and/or conservative, label them as simple and well religious so what do they know? Some of the most educated and even minded people I know are extremely religious and I might not always agree with them, but I do respect their thoughts and feelings and would never get on the bandwagon where I would attempt to take away their thoughts and feelings because it didn't mesh with what mine were. If you're going to fight for all of the hot topics in the news, you can't trample theirs in the process or you're just turning around and doing the same thing to them that you are upset that they did to you. Seems counterproductive.

I believe it was Voltaire who famously said, "I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it." We, as a society, need to get to a point where we can coexist and support one another. We need to stop labeling everyone and everything, but instead just accept the fact that we are all different, fighting our own battles and living our own paths.

And that's okay.

Maybe we should start focusing viewing each other as allies, as a means for support as we live and grow into who we are supposed to be-- whatever the image, beliefs or lifestyles we choose are.

Gay, straight, bi, transgender, pan-sexual, poly-amorous, a-sexual...in the end it really doesn't matter because in the end? Even kings are made of clay.

Thoughts on Teaching and Life

About midway through last week, I had started to have difficulty closing my mouth. My jaw hurt to move and it made eating difficult. I thought I pulled a muscle. Fast forward a week, and after I left work, I sat down and felt overwhelmingly dizzy and fuzzy, followed by a high grade fever and a burning sensation when I breathed. After a visit to the doctor’s, it turned out that I had such an advanced sinus infection that it went into my jaw and my ears. I pretty much had a face infection which is probably from a URI I powered through the last couple of weeks which I probably got from being sick all the way back over the summer while backpacking and never taking the time to take care of myself and trusting the advice of an Austrian doctor that seemed more impressed with my German last name than with really helping me. Seriously, what is it about Austrians/Germans being so in-awe of Americans with German ancestry that come back? I’ve experienced that several times in my travels and always at the strangest of moments.
 
I’m taking horse pills for antibiotics that are killing my stomach and caused me to cough and vomit at the same time today, nearly coating my trusting feline companion that has been within inches of me since I came home from the doctor’s yesterday. It was the weirdest sensation of my life wherein I stood and just looked at the mess in disbelief as in; did that really just happen to me?
 
I know I’m not the only one that has had a really stressful and difficult year. I’m not even complaining, because within all of it, I’ve had a lot of good too. I guess in this ridiculously long blog, I’m just realizing how important it is to take care of you and not focus on everyone else all the time. It’s a hard lesson to learn, especially as a teacher where we’re pretty much paid to do nothing but take care of everyone else and worry about every little detail. 
 
Or maybe I’m just loopy on decongestants and antibiotics. Kudos if you actually read this mini novel.

Book Review: Behind the Beautiful Forevers: Life, Death, and Hope in a Mumbai Undercity

“The slum had been settled in 1991 by a band of laborers trucked in from the southern Indian state of Tamil Nadu to repair a runway at the international airport. The work complete, they decided to stay near the airport and its tantalizing construction possibilities. In an area with little unclaimed space, a sodden, snake-filled bit of brushland across the street from the international terminal seemed the least-bad place to love,” writes Katherine Boo in the prologue to her book, Behind the Beautiful Forevers: Life, Death, and Hope in a Mumbai Undercity. This beautifully poignant novel, is a first for
Boo, a journalist for The New Yorker.

Boo chose to cover a section of Indian society that is largely ignored using her documentarian style to showcase the wide-range of human emotions and stories that she uncovered while staying in the Annawadi slum.

3,000 people crammed into 335 huts on a half of acre of land just outside of the Mumbai International Airport, the Annawadi slum serves as the main focus for Boo’s novel. Within the slum, Boo documents the life and struggles of many of the slum’s residents including Zehrunisa and her eldest son, Abdul. In 2008, the main job that most Annawadi children aspired for is scavenging and selling trash.

Abdul, forever being the realist makes a career out of this. He becomes an expert in garbage collecting and trading. “It was a fine time to be a garbage trader, not that that was the term passersby used for Abdul,” Ms. Boo writes. “Some called him garbage, and left it at that.”

However, not all of Abdul’s family shares his realism. His brother longs for a hotel job, a “clean job” as Ms. Boo describes and Abdul’s sister longs to redo the kitchen wall of their hut using the yellow tiles from the concrete wall that hides their slum from the view of the rest of the city. It is this desire that sets into motion the destruction of the family. The wall is shared by two families, on the other side of the wall lives a onelegged prostitute named Fatima.

As the wall is being worked on one day, Fatima is overcome with anger. “There is rubble in my rice!” she shouts. “It’s my wall to break, prostitute,” Zehrunisa shouts back. The fight quickly begins to escalate between the two women. Fatima, in an effort to completely take down Abdul’s family, lights herself on fire. She is badly burned and survived long enough to tell the police a made-up story that leaves Abdul accused of murder. From there, Boo begins to tell the story of Abdul’s struggles and the stories of other slum-dwellers like Asha, a self-driven woman who is eager to have a better life. Boo precisely highlights the struggles and catastrophe that is the Indian justice system by documenting Abdul’s story and the struggles of the people around him.

This is the first novel for Katherine Boo. She is a staff writer for The New Yorker and a former reporter and editor for The Washington Post. Her reporting from disadvantaged communities has been awarded a Pulitzer Prize, a MacArthur “Genius” grant, and a National Magazine Award for Feature Writing. She divides her time between the United States and India, the birthplace of her husband, Sunil Khilnani.

Behind the Beautiful Forevers: Life,Death, and Hope in a Mumbai Undercity by Katherine Boo is available for purchase via amazon with ISBN 081297932X. It was originally published by Random House Trade Paperbacks. This review refers to the April 2014 reprint edition.

Adventures in Writing: When Miss Burton Got Her Spotlight

Miss Burton got a lot of attention this summer that I was not expecting whatsoever. It was really cool and surprising-- a lot of feelings wrapped up into one. You know?

I think this biggest was when the Home News interviewed me for this story. And sent a photographer to my home to take pictures of me. He arrived 10 minutes after I had gotten home from sweating in camp all day and had literally just changed. I thought the photograph was going to be horrendous.

I was surprised.

(c) Home News Tribune, Jason Towlen/Staff Photographer

Not my best, but still not my worst. Whew! The article is really good too. She really detailed my accomplishments thus far. You can read it HERE!

The Summer of My 27th Year...

Began with me being in such a depression. I could not get out of it. I cried so much. I was so unhappy and so hurt and just reeling from everything that happened this past year-- the job that was a dud, the "boyfriend" that was a dud, my finances that were better but still a dud, my job search that I thought was a dud...etc.

But then camp started and I got to see all my little beans that are not so little anymore. Not like I expected them to be, it had been three years since I had been their teacher, but they were still there, being them. There's something about hanging with kids and making art that has its healing factors. I was beginning to feel built back up a little.

Then in July, I was offered a teaching position in Oklahoma City. And I was ready to accept it. I thought THIS WAS IT. This was my way out and I would get to teach 5th grade and how amazing is that and off I was into the possibilities of a completely new life half way across the country. Until reality hit that they were offering me, are you ready? A salary that was 15 grand less than what NJ gives young teachers. And yes, you will say well, cost of living is so much cheaper! It's not. A one bedroom apartment in a safe area of the city was still anywhere between 600-800 a month. That's half of your month's take home pay. No wonder OKC is so eager to hire out of state teachers, who would want to work for that sort of money? In a very messy district that is nationally known for its problems they are trying to work through. It was just not the place I wanted to park myself for a year or more.

So I turned it down and waited. I was then interviewed by Colorado and Arizona and Utah before finally getting three different interviews in South Jersey. The third interview was IT though and yes, I am so proud and happy to say that I was offered a language arts position for middle school in South Jersey and I took it.

I have since spent the last two weeks absolutely beaming, buying a whole new wardrobe and throwing out my French classroom for my brand spanking new Language Arts and Literacy classroom. It's been so much fun. I really can't wait to start next week. PUMPED! And my school is super cute too. It's an older school building and it looks like the building from Boy Meets World. Maybe Mr. Feeney will be there! Hah.

My next adventure will be saving money and buying my little condo down the shore that I have always wanted. It'll be awhile, but at least I'm on that path.

And as for boys? Well, I have been dating again since May, but nothing that really stuck into something that could have been more. I think I've also gotten even pickier than I was pre-bandboy which I never thought could happen, but it did. I also made a bet with my friend that for a year, I wouldn't date a musician (or wannabe musician) and would try other types of men and I have! In that experiment I have found how completely turned off I am by musicians now. Probably a good thing.

But, I'm sure the boy will be the next thing to happen too. Well, man I should say. I need a man, not a boy if I'm going to partner up with someone in life.

Here it is, my life and it's pretty awesome. I'm also in love with my new graduate program. I'm in the middle of finishing up my first semester this week. And I've since started working on the next book in the Miss Burton's series. So, I'm honestly just happy and busy and totally enjoying seeing some of my hard work finally pay off.

Grief, Not Guilt by Jeanann Verlee

I wish you a tongue scalded by tea.
A hangover. Burnt toast. Stubbed toes. A lost job.
I wish you weeping in the shower. Salt in the sugar bowl.
A wishlist of sorrows. Grief, not guilt.
"Hole in your favorite coat. Stain on the good suit.
Arthritis for your joints. A broken guitar string at every show.
I wish each breath a little harder. Each workday
an hour longer. I wish your heart a thousand breaks.
All your sports teams, bottom rank. I wish your friends
go quiet. The leaves brown above your head.
A thunderstorm every morning. Nothing but pearls
when you shop for her diamond. I wish you bad knees,
a sore back. Empty sheets. A ghost to haunt your house.
A tub brimming with mud. Closet stuffed with too-small shoes.
Flat beer. Sour milk. Weak coffee. I wish you
flat tires, soggy pasta, a tax audit to fail.
Bent forks, dull knives. A hangnail for every finger.
I wish you a room wallpapered with my photographs.
A chamber filled with empty bassinets."

Pretty much, pretty much. 

Adventures on the East Coast: July Birthdays

July is all but over.  My little brother somehow turned 23 last week. I am almost done with my summer classes. I am totally looking forward to never having to take linguistics again. Camp is almost over and before I know it, it will be August and I will be the one turning 27.

This weekend it was my friend Laura's turn! Her birthday was golden because she turned 27 on the 27th. And we had a lot of fun. I can't believe how tan and blonde I am in all of these pictures that I jacked from her blog.

End of the night masquerade. 

Let's talk zombie novels. 

Don't know what I was talking about but I seem into it.

Sometimes you have to be THAT friend.

Sometimes, you find yourself back at the beginning

And sometimes you start laughing while someone is taking your photo.

I can't lie and say that the last year of my life was all that wonderful. It had it's good points, but it had a lot of ups and downs. As the summer started I felt like I was in such a depression over everything, but as the summer has gone on I feel as though I came back to myself. And that, I am now surrounded by people who are good, positive and loving. And most importantly, people that love me and care about me.

I couldn't say that a year ago. I was not happy with who I was or who I had around me, but now I feel like I am in an entirely new chapter of my life and I am excited to see what it brings.

Here's to my LATE twenties (when did that happen???). 

Adventures on the East Coast: The Rockefeller Estate and Union Church of Pocantico Hills

The Rockefeller family built much of New York City and the surrounding areas. If you have a free Saturday then you really need to head to two place: their estate, Kykuit and the Union Church of Pocantico Hills.

What is so neat about the Union Church of Pocantico Hills is that it is this super tiny, neighborhood church that you probably could pass anywhere in a small town and think nothing of it. However, inside there are some amazing stained glass windows that were commissioned by the Rockefeller family. They commissioned artists Chagall and Matisse in the 1960's to create these amazing windows that depict biblical verses and are dedicated to various members of the family.

You can't take pictures in the church, but you can view them on their website which I am giving to you HERE.

Now, Kykuit, the Rockefeller's fall and spring estate is also nearby and pretty amazing. Where else can you view this beautiful home and then get to go to the basement and view Picassos and Calders? Nowhere! All of my photos are below:

Adventures in Teaching: Hello Fourth Year!

It's my fourth year doing an art program for summer camp and my first time being a site director. Lots of responsibility, but I am loving it! My first project was to make small groups of children decorate their own fish and then I painted their hands and their hands are supposed to make the scales, but kids get creative and I kind of let them just go with it. My first bulletin board looks amazing though :0).

The Search for Mr. Fabulous: Five Mistakes Guys Make in Online Dating

Okay, none of us are champions in dating because really if we were, we wouldn't be on these sites because we would have found our partner and are too busy living happily ever after to be surfing the depths of online dating.

Google Images

I've done online dating in a plethora of ways for the past three years on and off. I have met the good, the bad, the crazy and the certifiable, but I also did meet a few nice guys too that it just wasn't right for either of us.

And in that time, I have seen guys make a lot of stupid mistakes that just kill their chances of ever meeting someone on there for anything meaningful. Or even just for a first date. So here you are, a view into the mind of a woman. Here it is guys, the keys to the kingdom or better known a the five big no-no's of online dating:

5.) "I'm a musician!" - Okay, there are some people out there that can make a comfortable living with their music, art and writing, however, for the most part, this is not true. And it kills me when you start talking to a guy and you ask them what they do and they go, "Well, I was in a band, I'm a musician!" That's not a job nor is it a career. It's a hobby, one that you don't even seem to be doing anymore to even make it into a job or career one day. Admit that you're working retail and have no clue about your life plan yet, it's okay.

4.) The "look at me I'm holding a baby!" picture - First off, I'm going to think the kid is yours. And if I'm not that taken by you on first glance, chances are I'm not going to keep reading to find out the relation of that child to you. And then if I did keep reading, and it's like your niece, nephew, randomly borrowed friend's child, I'm just going to think it's weird. You think that picture is screaming "look at me, I am so awesome that I love kids," but in reality it's just weird. A borrowed kid means you eventually give it back and it doesn't show any time or commitment to anything on your part. Congratulations, you can hold a baby...I am unimpressed.

3.) The "look at my hot bod" pictures - It just shows how into yourself you are and how uninterested I am. It also screams that you're looking for booty and not for anything beyond that. Those pictures just scream jerk and send many running in the opposite direction. Generally, if you make a profile all about you to the point where you come off as self-absorbed, it's a no-go for most women.

2.) Toys. Pictures of toys, pictures with toys and talk of toys - I'm a nerd, I get it. I have a Jane Austen action figure that's still in the wrapping. That's probably the nerdiest thing I will ever cop to, but I have it, it exists. I get the nerd factor. However, I do not post that anywhere on an online dating site and she lives in a box in my closet. So, to post that stuff in any of the above mentioned ways sends one clear message: man-child! And nobody wants to hookup with, date or even attempt to get serious about a man-child because in reality we just wind up being a mom and who wants to mother a full-grown man? No one. Ditch the toys.

1.) I'm just going to not put anything out there, ever - I am always leery of profiles that are not filled out or have obscure pictures where you can't see anything or are like of a shoe. I mean what's the point?  And what are you hiding? Why are you on an online dating site, regularly signing in if you're not looking for something? And if you are looking for something why not put effort into it? The only message you're sending me is that you aren't serious, you're not one for effort and if it's not that then you're probably married or in a relationship and that's why you're hiding because you don't want your significant other to find out about your extra curriculars. Same goes with guys that just fill everything out with "I'm a private person, so just ask!" No, I don't want to ask. Tell me. 

Book Review: Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer

The story of Chris McCandless isn't exactly new. There were plenty of young men before him and plenty after him that believed, almost arrogantly, in their intelligence and ability so much so that they felt that even against the strength and almighty power of nature at its most wild that they would win out regardless of how ill-prepared they were for their journey. McCandless was a smart, well-educated twenty something from a well-off suburb of Virginia. His family, friends and those that knew him described him as such adding that, Chris often liked to be alone, not in the sense of being a "loner" and all that that term conjures, but in that, Chris didn't mind being alone and often was, finding ways to entertain himself.

He enjoyed wandering. He took long trips across the US and would often disappear for long stretches of time. After his graduation from Emory University, McCandless did just that. He packed up and left, eventually getting rid of his car, possessions and even burning what little money he had on him. From there, he drifts all over the West before finally trekking into the Alaskan bush country with ill-fitting boots and little to no food on him.

He plans to live off the land and strike out on his own totally negating the fact that he does not have the supplies needed nor has he taken the time to build the skill set that is needed to survive in the wilderness. Ultimately, the end of Chris McCandless is evident and it's easy to write him off as a know-it-all kid that got in over his head and paid the ultimate price.

And in some parts I do have to agree with that. He had a comfortable life set up for him and he gave it all away to pretty much tell his parents, up their's. On the other hand, Krakauer also includes stories of other boys who did the same as McCandless including stories of his own rebellion and his stupidity and near-death experience in trying to climb the Stikine Ice Cap. He spoke of how in your early twenties you grasp mortality, but your own seems so far off and something you're incapable to completely understanding that you slmost want to push yourself into the tip of it, the brink in order to look down on it and feel it.

Which, I get. It reminded me of how when I was 23, I went sky-diving and nothing makes you feel mortal and face your own mortality more than throwing yourself out of a plane and plummeting to earth with nothing but some flimsy material to save you. It was exciting, thrilling and it took away any and all control I had over myself and my well-being. It was exhilarating and something I probably will never do again.

Overall, did Chris McCandless over do it on the rebellion? Heck yes! But, his story and John Krakuer's take on it does make for a good read.

And then there's always the 2007 Sean Penn  movie adaptation which boasts lots of beautiful scenes and enough Eddie Vedder to keep any Pearl Jam enthusiast satiated:

Score: 5/5
Book Information: Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer was reissued on August 21, 2007 through Anchor Books with ISBN 978-0307387172.

The Day That Was

Ever had one of those? I had the one to end all of them today. There was a bomb scare in town today. It was scary. It was close to where I work. It was like my worst fears coming true and after the week we all had with Boston and really the year, including Sandy Hook, it's an absolutely terrifying world sometimes. I don't want to get up one morning and die at my job, I think that's become one of my bigger fears after the year that we have all lived through. It's been a lot.

So there was that.

And then as I get to lunch, I just want to sit on my phone and eat my food. I don't want to talk to anyone. I'm tired, I'm grumpy and really, what a morning that was. But, people love to talk to me. Broken people gravitate to me like I am the mothership of all that is broken and lost in the world. It can be human and it is even animals too.

I once had a guy that I dated tell me that it is because it is very calm and peaceful to be around me. Being around me is comforting. I guess, I mean that guy turned out to be a total looney tune so I guess he would be able to tell me why I am the epicenter of the lost, the broken, the crazy, the damaged and even those that are just different.

Today wasn't anything new. I'm sitting at lunch and sure enough this elderly woman moves to sit across from me. Within a minute, not even, we go from talking about life abroad to how she moved with her husband to Sweden and for 27 years loved him, raised his children and lived there with him, teaching. That is until one day he decided that he didn't love her...after 27 years...and goes off with the woman he decides he does love. And she's just too broken to watch him be with her so she leaves. She leaves the life she built, her children and even her grandchildren and comes home to substitute teach because no on wants to hire her here because she's too old and has too much experience that no one wants to pay for.

She made me glad that I have pretty much decided that I am just one of those people that don't have someone out there in the world. I'm one of those alone people and that's both relieving and even enlightening when I hear stuff like this. Craziness.

And as if that wasn't enough, there was a kid in my class today that is somewhere on the autism spectrum. I felt probably Aspergers. We were BFFing over the past couple of days and he would always ask me for help so I would help him.

Today he realizes that it's take your child to work day tomorrow and thus this conversation follows:

Child: "Tomorrow is take your child to work day and if you're still our teacher then that means you'll bring your kid! And we can meet them!"
Me: "Oh. It is isn't it? Well that's sweet, but I don't have any children."
Child: "Well, I hope that time comes for you soon."

Ma, have you been talking to my students?

Life changes while you're busy making other plans...

Things happen to you in life and sometimes those things are absolutely amazing and sometimes they are the most rotten, horrible things that come your way. It can be hard, but if you're lucky you're strong enough to get through those bad things and if you're really, really lucky? Then you have friends and family that love you and are there for you when you need them.

And eventually, you overcome that bad thing that happened and you arrive on the other side of it. It's unexpected and you are shocked when you do, but you get there and it's good.

I arrived on the other side probably sometime this weekend. My friend Laura had randomly texted me Friday afternoon if I was interested in seeing Rocky Horror and if I'd want to get dinner at Old Bay in New Brunswick.

Heck yes!

Old Bay was just like I remembered it: dark, overpriced and eh, but the company was good and we laughed about old 80's commercials and TV shows over dinner. I had a drink which was called swamp water. It tasted like lime, but it was so green that it reminded me of that ecto-cooler HI-C juice boxes that we used to have growing up:

And then we headed over to The Den to catch some Rocky Horror! I didn't know much about it, had never saw it and all I did know about it was that Tim Curry played the lead in the movie version. Apparently, if you are attending your very first show, you get marked with lipstick - "V for Virgin" and they find some way to embarrass you during the show.

I got V'd and then I was embarrassed and the show was great. Midway through I realized that someone I was once good friends with was there, but because of differences of opinions we hadn't spoken for many months. Rocky Horror though fixed a friendship and thus, all was forgiven. Funny how life simple does that for you eventually.

Saturday brought book club where we got lunch at the Loving Hut in Matawan. I was a bit leery of an all vegan place, but it was really good! I got vegan won-ton soup and it was amazing. The won-tons were stuffed with mushrooms:

At book club we discussed that awful Julie Klausner book. We were all in agreement that after the introduction, it just went down hill fast and by the end of it you just wound up hating her for being dumb and gross for 100-something pages.

Afterbook club and vegans goodies, came my friend Keriann's last night out. She's moving to Colorado for work and for love, so it's not terrible, but I'm going to miss her. We grew up together and had only recently rekindled a friendship. I wish we had more time before she leaves, but she has an adventure to get to, so safe travels and good luck to her! Copious amounts of pictures were taken and there was much fist-pumping to be had:

Sunday should have brought more New Brunswick and a fundraiser, but I was so exhausted from the night before that I opted to stay home. At nearly 27 years old, my body declared that it is too old to be out until 2am after being out until 1am the night before. I was absolutely beat and wound up napping midday. I did finish the softest baby blanket in the world for a non-existent baby though. The yarn had been on sale and it was just so soft that I had to buy it and thus make it:

And! If all of this wasn't enough. I was notified today that I was officially registered and enrolled in a graduate writing program that I had literally applied to on a whim several months ago. I never thought I'd actually get it, but thank you, Miss Burton's Class because it is you that I submitted and it is you that they liked enough to admit me.

I start June 17th.

I'm amazed with how much my life has fallen apart, changed and slowly has begun to come back together.