Moving Forward

I started this blog years ago and at first it started as a photo project that didn't really work and then it became my own where I wrote about my first real "adult" heartbreak and moving on from it. Then, after dating all kinds of idiots, I wrote about finally finding a non-idiot who really was the biggest idiot of them all.

And then, I sort of just stopped writing.

I got busy with other things-- with teaching and traveling, mainly backpacking through Europe (with the man I eventually met), and finding myself in a good, loving relationship and then before I knew it, with moving out completely on my own with no room mates or college lifestyle to fall back on.

And then, I finished my masters and begun the steps towards a PhD.

....And then, I bought a house.

However, most importantly, I think I'm finally learning the importance of just breathing and enjoying something. I've worked really hard to get to this point and I have done it on my own and unlike some women my age, I have done this without the help of a husband or live-in boyfriend.

I've gotten to the point of having what I wanted and I sort of noticed the enormity of that feeling as I was packing up my kitchen for the move to my house. I took off all of the magnets that Phil and I collected throughout Europe, along with the ones I picked up on my own travels including a couple magnets I bought on a class trip with my 8th graders last year and one I got at the local museum in the city that I teach in.

I was a little sad as I looked them over before I packed them and realized how exciting each of those moments were that inspired a magnet purchase and now they're all over. And at times, I don't know if I fully appreciated them as I lived them or maybe that's just because I'm looking back now.

It sort of made me realize now that as this year winds down, there are things that I want to do next year to make me enjoy everything that I have now more. I want to blog more and read for fun more. I know that my PhD classes are going to take up most of my time, but I would like to make time for things I like do like blogging and reading. I really would like to finally finish the book I started for my thesis or the second year of Miss Burton's Class. It's just hard and for the first time in many years, I have found manuscript writing to be beyond difficult. Maybe that can be next year's plan or something soon....

Who knows.

Thoughts on Teaching and Life

About midway through last week, I had started to have difficulty closing my mouth. My jaw hurt to move and it made eating difficult. I thought I pulled a muscle. Fast forward a week, and after I left work, I sat down and felt overwhelmingly dizzy and fuzzy, followed by a high grade fever and a burning sensation when I breathed. After a visit to the doctor’s, it turned out that I had such an advanced sinus infection that it went into my jaw and my ears. I pretty much had a face infection which is probably from a URI I powered through the last couple of weeks which I probably got from being sick all the way back over the summer while backpacking and never taking the time to take care of myself and trusting the advice of an Austrian doctor that seemed more impressed with my German last name than with really helping me. Seriously, what is it about Austrians/Germans being so in-awe of Americans with German ancestry that come back? I’ve experienced that several times in my travels and always at the strangest of moments.
 
I’m taking horse pills for antibiotics that are killing my stomach and caused me to cough and vomit at the same time today, nearly coating my trusting feline companion that has been within inches of me since I came home from the doctor’s yesterday. It was the weirdest sensation of my life wherein I stood and just looked at the mess in disbelief as in; did that really just happen to me?
 
I know I’m not the only one that has had a really stressful and difficult year. I’m not even complaining, because within all of it, I’ve had a lot of good too. I guess in this ridiculously long blog, I’m just realizing how important it is to take care of you and not focus on everyone else all the time. It’s a hard lesson to learn, especially as a teacher where we’re pretty much paid to do nothing but take care of everyone else and worry about every little detail. 
 
Or maybe I’m just loopy on decongestants and antibiotics. Kudos if you actually read this mini novel.